Monday, July 14, 2008 If You Don't Leave, How Am I Supposed to Miss You?
oh man.
ohhhh man.
I am scared.
and it's not the "ii sCaReD lEhXx!" kind of scared.
it's the "I. Am. Freaking. Scared." kind of scared.
i'm talking about being on my own, facing the books. i haven't gotten over feeling like such a big, fat failure after the Os. i've just forgotten it. i am now alone in this battle against academics. i am such a loser. and i realised that i do not do anything where it's a must to succeed anymore. i'd just avoid getting myself involved. and i only join when it's only for fun, or failing isn't such a big deal. you could call it a phobia. caused by the disappointments after SYF and Os. i really admire people like ethel and becky who i've seen working their guts out for good results, then get disappointed, and then picking themselves up almost immediately and hitting the books again, telling themselves that they've just got to work yet even harder. i am such a wuss, i fail and say that i have no idea where i went wrong and i've already worked so hard, i couldn't have worked harder.
amd i simply refuse to give myself another chance for the fear of failing.
what. a. failure.
on a lighter note, i am truly touched by people who have written blog posts/farewell smses/love letters/post cards especially. *COUGH*chrys*COUGH* my love goes out to all of you and i will reread all of them when i'm in aussie and missing ya'll ever so much. i am trying really hard to express how i feel in words and this is extremely difficult. please know that will be thinking of you and willing to be home real soon. 5 months is gonna pass really quick (i am trying to convince myself about this) and you'll be in my heart always.
my bags are packed, I'm ready to go I'm standin' here outside your door I hate to wake you up to say goodbye
But the dawn is breakin', it's early morn The taxi's waitin', he's blowin' his horn Already I'm so lonesome I could die
So kiss me and smile for me Tell me that you'll wait for me Hold me like you'll never let me go
'Cause I'm leaving on a jet plane I don't know when I'll be back again Oh, babe, I hate to go
I'm ...
There's so many times I've let you down So many times I've played around I'll tell you now, they don't mean a thing
Every place I go, I think of you Every song I sing, I sing for you When I come back I'll wear your wedding ring
So kiss me and smile for me Tell me that you'll wait for me Hold me like you'll never let me go
'Cause I'm leaving on a jet plane I don't know when I'll be back again Oh, babe, I hate to go
Now the time has come to leave you One more time, oh, let me kiss you And close your eyes and I'll be on my way
Dream about the days to come When I won't have to leave alone About the times that I won't have to say ...
Oh, kiss me and smile for me Tell me that you'll wait for me Hold me like you'll never let me go
'Cause I'm leaving on a jet plane I don't know when I'll be back again Oh, babe, I hate to go
And I'm leaving on a jet plane I don't know when I'll be back again Oh, babe, I hate to go
